EXTRACT FOR
WHAT I WON'T DO FOR PLEASURE
(Kim Hardwick)
For instance, last night, Pedro tied me up with electric wiring, and had his 'niggas' use me and abuse me for four hours, as a token of his affection for them. He told me to take care of his pals, treat them all like Big Daddies, if I knew what was good for me. See? When he talks like that to me, my friends freak out; they just don't get it. If he didn't care for me, he wouldn't let his pals borrow me for a night of sex; he would just hire a hooker. The fact that he lets his friends use me, his girl, as an inflatable fuck doll, is really impressive. Romantic, even.
I guess my journey into the world of extreme masochism started last year. I was doing pro bono work at the court house (I work as an associate at a 'White Shoes' law firm in NYC), and while waiting for the court officers to bring up my client, Pedro made his entrance, literally and figuratively into my life. Unlike the typical out of shape, ugly scumbag that I see when in court, Pedro, with his lean, muscular physique, pony tail and erotic tattoos triggered an instant attraction for me. I literally could not stop staring at him. He was the most beautiful man I had ever seen.
He must have caught some vibes coming from my direction, because he pointed towards me and said, "Yo, sucker, that's my bitch! That bitch is my lawyer!"
The officer gestured to his partner, who came over and asked me if I indeed was Pedro's lawyer. I should have told him the truth that I was waiting for another client (I was representing pro bono because the Rules of Professional Responsibility for New York State mandate all lawyers practicing have to provide free legal services for indigent clients. This appearance happened to be my freebie to the ABA).
"Does the defendant have an attorney?" I responded. The officer replied in the negative. The officer told me that none of the regular Legal Aid attorneys wanted anything to do with him.
"Why is that?" This was intriguing.
"He's a sexual pervert and an infamous pimp. He sent his last attorney to the hospital. He's a real sweetheart."
"In that case, then I am his attorney. Please arrange for us to have a consultation before his appearance." Too late for me to turn back; I've crossed my Rubicon.
Pedro came over, in handcuffs, with the court officer behind him. The officer asked if I wanted him nearby, I told him no. I turned to Pedro.
What's your name?
Damn, MamÃ, you are so hot. I would do you doggy style without the glove. Shit!
You are so hot! I've never felt this way towards any man. Is it true you're a pimp?
Yo, you sure you're my lawyer? Attorney client privilege, you know, all that shit.
Yes, from this moment on, I am your attorney. So are you a pimp?
Will you suck my cock if I say yes?
God, I will not only suck your cock, I will eat your ass out!
Pedro looked at me for a few seconds, and then told me I was too freaky for him. That it wasn't going to work out.
I grabbed his arm and begged him quietly not to discard me, "Don't toss me like a soiled panty! Please!"
He smiled down and said, "Welcome to my world counselor!"