Scott put off his annual physical as long as humanly possible. If he didn't get written proof that he was fit for duty, the department had cause to suspend him. It wasn't all that likely they'd boot him off the force just because a document didn't get signed, but when a guy missed a physical he looked like he had something to hide.

"I don't see the problem," said his wife, Zelda, as she chopped sweet peppers. "So Dr. Kimble shoves a finger up your butt. So what? It's just one finger, and he'll wear gloves-and use lube! That's better than what you do to me."

Scott flipped through the papers his doctor needed to sign. With a smirk, he said, "I thought you liked what I do to your tushie."

Zelda bit her lip. "I do like it. I like it a lot." Her eyes went all cloudy as she stared into space, her knife hovering over the cutting board.

"You're thinking about it right now, aren't you?" he asked. "You're thinking about the last time I went down on you and rubbed my finger around your pretty pink asshole while I licked your clit."

"Scott!" She looked around, like someone might overhear this downright dirty conversation. "You're making me blush."

"I'm making you hot," he shot back. "You know it's true."