"It reminds me of Lewis... the island that is.
There's a similar sort of bay there. I used to go down to it all the time, just
to sit and think. You never had this sort of heat, though - different plants as
well... But it's the rocks and the calmness of the water - the peacefulness - the
way it's not overrun, just a few people getting on with the business of
living."
"Is that where you got your name from?" asked
Gavin.
"Aye! It was my dad's idea - he said it was
because that's where the Macleods originally hailed from before the Mackenzies
turfed us out, but I reckon there was another reason. You see, I have this
horrible feeling that Posh and Becks weren't the first to name their son after
his place of conception. My parents spent their honeymoon on Lewis, and I
popped along nine month later, so it's a fair bet. Thank God they didn't have
the money to go anywhere more exotic. That would have got changed by deed poll
when I was eighteen, I can assure you."
Gavin smiled to himself at the notion - Goa Macleod
had a ring to it, or perhaps even Gozo. After a few more ludicrous
re-christenings, he asked, "Did you go there a lot?"
"Every year," replied Lewis. "My Aunt Maureen
has a holiday home there. Just a wee Butt 'n' Ben, but I loved it. I haven't
been back since... since I was twelve."
"Did your mum not take you back?" asked
Gavin, knowing he was treading onto very thin ice. Marie had warned him of the
sensitivity which lay there.
Lewis adamantly shook his head. "No. Maureen
was my dad's sister - she and my mum never got on very well. I spent my time in
England or abroad after that anyway - tennis academies, training camps, junior
tournaments, that sort of thing. Holidays were non-existent."
Warily Gavin pressed him further. "That must
have been difficult for you... after what happened to your dad."
The taboo subject had been directly mentioned
but Lewis took it in his stride. "What, the camps and such like? No - they were
the best place for me. I could forget there, and remember at the same time...
remember why I was there." Lewis looked over to Gavin, who sat uneasy, sensing
that he should have perhaps left the subject alone. "Don't worry, Gavin! I'm
twenty-three now. I can talk about my dad without falling apart, though I
couldn't for a long time. That's why most people avoid the subject..." Lewis
paused for a moment as he looked back to the sea recalling again the times that
he had looked on it with a different man. "It's funny - my dad never pushed me
in any way. He had no great unfulfilled dreams that he wanted to live out
through his son, or saw me as a ticket to the high life, like a lot of other
tennis parents see their kids. He just encouraged me to do it if I wanted to. And
of course, I did - I wanted to show off to him, so he would be proud of his wee
boy. But he never pushed me, not in the way that was needed to become really
good..." Lewis paused. He'd never opened up like this to anyone - not even to Lee.
Yet somehow in this setting he felt comfortable enough, and after so many
years, it needed to be said, even if he did so in a stuttering choked voice. "If
he had lived, then you probably would never have heard of me... but he
didn't... so you did. The whole world got to hear of me because he died... and
because I still wanted to make him proud of me... There was no other tennis
parent that pushed harder than he eventually did... even if it was from the
grave. But he's done his job now..."
The solemnity was broken with a smile from
Lewis, who turned round after a moment's reflection and raised his glass to
draw a line under it all. "Cheers."
The calamari arrived a few minutes later,
lightening the mood even further as they started to tuck in.
"What are your parents like?" asked Lewis, in
an attempt to change the subject, but unconsciously staying close. Letting go
had never come easy for young Mr. Macleod.
"Oh, my old man pushed me as well," replied
Gavin. "Pushed me around the house when I was a boy, then pushed me out of it
when I was fifteen. He wasn't too happy when he found out he had a poof in the
family, so he gave me a kicking that saw me in hospital and social services
taking me away."
"Sorry. Do you see him now?"
"No. He never said another word to me until I
appeared on television. He was keen enough then to get in touch and try to tap
me for a few quid. Cheeky sod! I told him where he could get off. It would have
gone on drink and a brace of three legged horses, just like his dole money
does. I'm well out of it all."
"What about your mum?" quizzed Lewis.
"Aye, I still see her from time to time, but..."
"But what?"
Gavin shook his head, as if annoyed with
himself for the disloyalty. But he knew that Lewis had a similar situation with
regards to Fiona, so he opened up as well. "It's terrible to say, but I don't
really think of her as my mum anymore. She certainly never protected me like a
mother should have. Margaret Wallace - Davy's mother who fostered me - she's
more like a mum to me now."
"Okay. I think that's enough of happy
families. By the sound of things, you win the game hands down," said Lewis.
Then raising a forkful of calamari, he added, "These are delicious, by the way.
I don't suppose you can rattle this off back at the house? I wouldn't say no to
a plate of these every day."
With that Lewis left the past where it
belonged and returned his attention to the present that went on around him,
enjoying the tranquil scenery as he tucked away more than his fair share of the
calamari. But Gavin's thoughts remained with the conversation as he watched
Lewis pig out on the food and quaff back the wine at an alarming speed. It was
hardly the behaviour he would have expected from a world class sportsman - not
just world class, but the current best in his field. He wondered what Lewis had
meant at the end by saying, "But he's
done his job now..." Did Lewis feel that he had done enough to satisfy his
father's ghost, or was he himself satisfied with all that he had achieved? Again
Marie's words came back - her prediction about Lewis's reign at the top being
brief due to his tempestuous relationship with the game. It was all down to motivation
- easier to find when you're clawing your way up, but much harder to maintain
once you've reached the top. And at that moment Gavin would have to concur with
Ms. Clement - Lewis Macleod didn't strike him like the sort of man who wanted
to put in the effort to stay at the top for very long.