The first thing I noticed upon arriving at the Blue Cove Resort was that it was not a resort. The second thing I noticed was that there were no women. The long stretch of sand beside the beach was almost completely deserted and there was not a babe in sight. I cursed at my father in the driver's seat. The company he worked for was supposedly doing well financially and had rented out the resort for the weekend. Why did it have to be this one?

"This is even worse than I thought!" I exclaimed. I watched my mother and father exchange knowing glances with one another. Aha. They knew I would hate it here. They purposely drove me miles and miles and miles out of town to a place they knew I would hate. I'm pissed. I've been at my new job as assistant for the editor of the local newspaper for less than a month and it was going great. Long and irregular hours, but the pay was well worth it. When Mom begged me to come away with her and Dad for Dad's work shout trip before his retirement, I was glad to have a ready excuse. I'd not been at my job long enough to simply take time off. Mom kicked up a fuss and ended up having a discussion with my boss, who happily gave me long weekend off to go away with them. My boss thought it was what I wanted, but I hadn't even asked. All I wanted now was my desk and my comfy chair and my caramel lattes. But instead I was out in the middle of nowhere with my senile parents and twelve other dorky old couples and their lame families.

"Please try and make this a good trip for your father," Mom begged me, taking my arm as we found our way to the front office to check into the resort. I didn't want to upset her but it was unavoidable; she was expecting too much from me. I was really unhappy about the situation. Honestly I would have flat-out refused to come at all if it hadn't been for my moment of bad judgment. After I had already told my mother that I was definitely not going on the trip, no matter what she said or did to try and persuade me, I received a text from Kathleen basically telling me to leave her alone forever. Kathleen was the one who got me the job; I met her through mutual friends about a year before and had been pursuing her ever since. She was clearly not interested but I was practically in love with her and hoped that if she could see how badly I wanted her, she would eventually change her mind. She continued to insist that we were just friends. I'd thought the generous deed of getting me job at her workplace meant that perhaps she was starting to think of me as more than a friend. Why else would she want to be within the same vicinity as someone whom she knew was into her? Last week I asked her to come out with me. She never replied so the day that my parents were leaving for their trip, I text her the same thing again. Finally she replied, and after reading it, I wished she hadn't. I was gutted. Right away I called up Mom, letting her know that I had to get out of the city, away from Kathleen and anyone else whom she might have gossiped to about me. As soon as I realized that the resort was nothing but a ghost town, I regretted my impulse decision.

The evening turned from bad to worse when I found out I would be sleeping in a pokey little trailer with my mom and dad. Perfect. No 25-year-old guy should ever have to sleep in a caravan with his parents, no. I was groaning and complaining and wishing I had driven my own car, so that I could escape.

"Quit nagging at me. You're here now, you might as well make the best of it. How about you go and do some mingling before dinner."

"Mingling?" I could have laughed. "Mingling with who, the seagulls?"

"There are other children in this group, Harrison."

Now I really was laughing.

"I stopped being a child a long time ago, Mom."

Regardless, there was really was nothing better to do so I got dressed into my swimming trunks and headed down to the empty beach. Even if I was on my own, the cool water was nice and picked up my mood a little bit. Kathleen was on my mind, but I'd decided that I didn't like her anymore. Not after being totally rejected by her. The only other people around were little kids and a few moms. The dads were getting everything ready for the beach barbecue and from where I wading in the water I could see my parents making their way down the dunes carrying containers of food. I started paddling back toward the beach to lend them a hand. When I flicked my head to get rid of the water from my hair, a girl standing in the waves twenty or so yards away from me caught my eye. She was playing with some little kids, who I recognized as the children of one of dad's work colleague's. The girl was too far away for me to get a good look at her, but she was the only person there younger than forty who had tits so I wasn't not too fussed. I reminded myself to get a proper look at her later.

During dinner, Dad's work friend Nick noticed me staring at this chick. I was still bored out of my brain and was longing to trade this wonky beach chair in for my comfy desk chair back in my den at home.

"You ought to be careful, might pay not to have your eye on that one," Nick said to me. Quickly I re-routed my vision away from the girl and back to the plate of food on my lap. I'd never been a fan of barbecued food, I'd heard it gives you cancer. I'd been here less than four hours and I was already craving my home comforts.

"Who? What?" I played dumb. I was seated between Nick and my mom, who was nattering away to the woman beside her. I didn't want her to find out that I'd been staring, she'd only try to pair me up. For the past seven years she'd been asking me why I'm single and encouraging me to get married. Crazy old bat.

"That's Nina, Jarrad's daughter," Nick continued. "Little brat, she is. She isn't allowed to date, and I heard Jarrad beat up the last who tried it on with her."

I laughed it off nervously. I knew who Jarrad was, and I didn't want to get on his bad side. He was the assistant manager of the company Dad worked for. He was a complete tool, but he definitely looked like he could kick the shit out of someone. Me, for example.

"No harm in having a look," I shrugged.

"Not much to look at, really," Nick replied, which made me laugh. I didn't think she was so bad. Kind of plain -looking but everything was in the right place. She'd covered herself up with a sarong but what I saw of her body earlier seemed pretty good. Her lips were my favorite; the best part of her face. Her long light-brown hair pretty much hid the rest of it, anyway.

"You think so? I wouldn't need to put a paper bag over her head," I said without thinking it through. Nick choked on his beer. He thought it was hilarious.

"I'm telling you now, you don't want to be saying things like that out loud," he said, serious now. "If Jarrad hears you talking like that, you're screwed. Avert your eyes, boy."

I couldn't, though. I was bored and staring at Nina was the only thing that kept me occupied for the rest of the evening. But it wasn't long before my curiosity turned into disappointment. Just from watching her I could tell that she was fucking annoying. She had an irritating way of speaking; a high-pitched voice that went up even more at the end of her sentences, making everything she said sound like a question. She was only talking to little kids, but all she talked about was herself. Nobody was even listening to her. I finally decided for sure that I didn't like her when she started playing music loudly on her phone and sang along to it. I think she thought she was a brilliant singer, but she truly sucked.

I wrote that night off, went to bed and planned to do everything I could to persuade my parents to take me home in the morning.

Of course that plan didn't work. I tried though, believe me. Instead I was to forced to trek three miles and then get onto a boat and be taken out into the middle of the harbor, and then further. I hate boats. Actually, that was the first time I'd ever been on one, but that was because I'd never wanted to. There were seven of us on that boat, and of course Nina was one of them. Luckily for me, her father was there as well so Nina knew better than to try and get to chatty to me. She did irritate the fuck out of me though. She wouldn't stop blabbering on about Greenpeace and vegetarianism. When her mother reeled in a fish, she starting squealing and wouldn't stop. That type of horrible girly squealing that hurts the ears. She whinged until her mother finally threw the fish back.

When all the lines were still and nothing was happening, Nina unlatched her buoyancy vest and set it down. She stretched out on the side of the boat in her bikini top and shorts. I quickly looked away, waiting for her father to say something. Sure enough, within the first minute of her laying there, Jarrad spoke up.

"Oi, put your vest back on," Jarrad ordered her. Naturally my eyes wandered back over to what was going on, but I was careful not to look directly at Nina for too long.

"Oh Dad, it's not like there's a storm out here. I'll be fine."

"Put it back on, Nina," he said sternly. Nina sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Do I have to? I just want to get some sun."

"Yes, you have to. Put it back on, now. It's a safety thing," he looked right at me as he said it. Who did he think he was? I wanted to tell him how much his daughter pissed me off, and that he didn't have to worry about me hitting on her.

The afternoon only got less bearable. My well-meaning mother asked Nina if she had a boyfriend, and Nina replied shamelessly that she wanted one but she wasn't allowed to date.

"How old are you, dear?" My mother asked with a frown.

"I'll be 21 in a couple of months."

Mom gave the back of Jarrad's head a disapproving look. She then looked at me.

"My son doesn't have that excuse," she said, trying to be funny. "He's chronically single because he spends too much time on the computer and not enough time doing things like this."

"Because going out fishing on the ocean is how you find dates, sure," I said sarcastically, shaking my head. I stood to stretch my legs and caught sight of the tiny stretch of land visible in the distance. God, how I would kill to be back there.

"Nina has no boyfriend because she is a slut," said Nina's kid brother. Both my mom and I gasped. I had to smile as well.