"By Jupiter, I can only wonder what your mothers looked like," I choked.

My eyes were forced shut by the great amount of light they emitted from their bodies now. When it finally subsided, I found myself staring at three elderly looking men in robes.

"There, better for you now?" The one of the left sneered.

"You humans are always so shallow, judging everything by appearance alone," the centre continued.

I would have replied how much of a fallacy the centre demon had just committed and maybe question the supposed correlation between his age and wisdom, but I had just proved his point when my puking finally stopped. It would be wiser for me to keep silent and evaluate the situation.

"W-who are you?" I asked, feeling a slight tremble in my body.

"Mehfisto!" the one on the right proclaimed.

"Beezelblowjub!" the one on the left followed.

I looked at the centre demon expectantly.

He sighed, "my real name is Dickablo, but many call me Lucifuck."

Now that he looked like a kindly old man, he didn't seem that menacing, I felt almost sorry for him.

"Ave demons, you are talking to the mighty Gaius Julius Caesar, Dicktator of Rome and all of the Holy Roman Empire... until this morning," I sighed, looking at the centre demon.

"But I thought, when you reached the Hall of Judgement, you will be greeted by Minos, Aeacus and Rhadamanthus..." I asked as my burning curiosity got the better of me.

"Your priesssssts do not know the whole truth," Mehfisto hissed and spat angrily, "how dare they spread such liessss about what the underworld issss?"

"Uh, right, well... How would you like me to address you?" I asked the centre demon in the kindliest manner I could muster.

His eyes lit up. I supposed after thousands of years of boring work and following convention, no one really knew him for who he really was anymore. I believed a little empathy would go a long way to help my situation.

"I'd rather you call me Dickablo, mortal."

"And I'd rather you call me 'o mighty Caesar'."