Preface

The room is quiet. Deathly still and silent as the grave. Like the audience during a Highguard comedy.

But there is life here in the darkened gloom, if we listen closely. It moves in the dark, shuffling across the floor like some unseen denizen of the night; like a sleek animal, whose senses are perfect and primed; an apex predator whose finely tuned-

 

"By the virtues!" There is a sharp thud as shin meets chair, then a stream of low oaths issue out from the mysterious entity. "Where are the damn matches? Ah, here we are!"

Now the inky darkness is punctured by a single flare of bright yellow that turns to deep orange as the flame settles.

The taper is touched first to one candle, and the darkness peels slowly back.

Two candles; inky shadows form on the wooden walls.

Three candles; a desk now appears.

Four candles; the required number for any comic composition.

 

Beside the chair, T.F. Shagworde stands, tall, resplendent, and rubbing his painfully aching shin.

Still muttering, he sits at the desk, moves the nearest candle a little closer, then looks down at the letter from his agent.

"Shaggy darling!" bellows the opening line. "A fabulous launch at the Anvil Library! Now, how about a little something for your readers?"

Shagworde peruses, pauses, and then smiles as an idea looks over his head, decides the space will work for it and promptly moves in.

He reaches forward, takes up the pen, and begins to write a reply...

 

 

Many years have passed since, in a rare moment of sobriety, I began to write a ridiculous little story about a halfwit son who dreamed of the sea, and the maelstrom of unlikely adventures that beset him.

The intention was to enjoy the act of writing a ludicrous bit of nonsense, and the expectation that it would quickly be forgotten.

But, like the hapless hero of that story, it instead began a voyage that has finally brought us to this collection.

 

Beneath the discreet covers of this book can be found the thrilling, throbbing climax of my work to date; the four complete novellas, unabridged and unrepentant, as they were first released at Anvil.

In them, you will find lovers and liars, sin and sincerity, and characters bound up in a farcical cavalcade of romantic hijinks.

Ultimately, my stories are like life itself, or - at least - as life should be; utterly joyful, unashamedly loving, and undeniably absurd.

 

I hope you enjoy the book, and may you be as touched whilst reading these tales as I was whilst writing them.

 

 

 

T. F. Shagworde