I began researching male escort agencies on the Internet. Luckily, my son was overseas on a business trip, and I was able to carry this out at my leisure without the risk of being found out.

My research led me to one that had great reviews, and I tentatively made an inquiry. This was a whole new territory for me but obviously, not for the lady I spoke to on the telephone. She made me feel quite at ease, and we talked frankly about the services. One thing she told me, which came as a surprise, was that her male escorts were often hired to break in virgins who were frightened of their first sexual experience.

The service provided escorts for functions or dinners, and if intimacy were to occur, it was totally up to the client.

I was not sure about the intimacy at this stage. So, I planned to have him accompany me to the function first and then decide if I would make use of this optional service.

She asked me what type of person I would like, so I gave her the following criteria:

Between 5' 10" and 6' tall

Preference for dark-haired men

Good physique, not necessarily athletic

Not hard to look at

Intelligent (The function was with top executives, so he needed to be able to hold a conversation.)

A smoker (I smoke, and it would be nice to share a cigarette and a chat.)

Discreet (I was pretending he was a house guest visiting from overseas. He needed to mix with other guests at the function and not pay attention to me.)

Dress code: smart casual

If intimacy was going to be in the cards, he needed to be a good kisser, as kissing for me is very important and needed for my arousal.

He turned up on time and, as he walked in the door, I mentally thought, "Wow!" The agency had sent me someone who filled the bill extremely well―tall, dark, and handsome and dressed in jean pants, white shirt, and a black jacket. I got him to ditch the tie he was wearing, as that was too formal for the function. He came armed with a gift―a scented candle―obviously, something they all bring as part of the job. He was originally from South America and spoke with a slight accent. He made me feel at ease and seemed pleased when he saw what he had been sent to deal with. I had very carefully chosen my outfit. It was a warm summer's night, and I wore a halter neck dress which showed a little cleavage and complemented my tall, slim figure.

Before we left to go to the function, we sat down outside and had a cigarette and a chat while I briefed him on what was expected of him. He was 38 and easy to talk to. We instantly struck up a rapport. At the function, he was charming and courteous and followed my instructions to the letter. We chatted easily in the car on the long journey there and back. He seemed to be a leg man, as occasionally he would bring his hand across and lift my skirt to reveal my legs and thighs. This was sexually enticing, and I had to get him to cut it out, as I jokingly told him he would make me run off the road.

When we arrived home, I was very nervous but at the same time excited with anticipation. He immediately took charge by kissing me and letting his hand wander up my skirt and inside my panties. What happened for the next couple of hours was truly amazing.

I had not realized how ignorant I was in the pleasures that sex has to offer until that night. I had always thought that whenever couples were in the doggy position, they were doing anal. I also had no idea what could be achieved by a man's tongue, and amazed myself with what I could do with mine.

The escort was gentle, caring, and made me feel fantastic. Women are so lucky. They can climax repeatedly! And he had the youth and stamina to go a couple of rounds and cum as well. He used all the appropriate precautions. Condoms were expertly applied and removed as he came outside of me, ensured there was no mess, and cleaned up perfectly.

The whole experience left me feeling like I had been asleep and now woken up, sexually speaking.

This is not to say my husband did not please me or that we did not have a good sex life. I just didn't know! My husband was the only man I had ever been with, so there was nothing I could compare it with. We enjoyed the sex we had, but I have since found out that we were uneducated in what was available to us. Since he was old-fashioned, and I came from a strict Catholic background, perhaps we were not comfortable with the thought of exploring that part of our lives further. Because we cared for and loved each other, we also had a lot of intimacy without the sex. He just loved my touch, long nails stroking his back, and he would put his hand or feet out for tickling at every opportunity. He wrote his own eulogy, and even in that screed he thanked me for the hundreds of back rubs.

The male escort came at a price of a different kind: $2,000! Yes, you will no doubt gasp at this figure. Luckily, I had just received an unexpected bonus payment of $5,000 for a project I had completed, so I could afford to do this. I decided that it was my Christmas present to me, since it was December. But you live and learn. The reason it cost that much was because I had hired him from 6.30 p.m., and he did not leave me until about 2 a.m.

I subsequently found out that they don't usually accompany women to functions (not surprising at that price); in the majority of cases, they are hired only to provide a sexual service.

At the time the hourly rate was $400.

Sometime later, I hired the same male escort again. An hour is never enough, so a couple of hours and another $800.

I might point out that I thought it was worth every penny, but I am not a rich widow, so this last payment had to be the absolute end of it.

There was just one problem. I was craving sex more than ever, and now that I found out what it could be like, I was fast becoming an addict.

So, where to now? I felt I needed to talk to someone and called on a very close friend, one who did not know any of my other friends, so I felt safe in confiding in her. Well, guess what? She had been divorced for a number of years and was meeting guys online and having sex! It bears out a comment I made in my prologue that some people may recognize themselves in these pages. She was a close friend, and I didn't even know! I subsequently spoke to another friend who also shared her secrets, providing further evidence that assertion is not so far-fetched.

It was refreshing to be able to have a frank discussion without feeling in the least bit guilty. She recommended that I should go online. She had met a man online whom she had been dating for some time. Their relationship had parallels to the situation I later had with my lover, so she was able to empathize with me.