One
Her essence seemed transmuted, something larger than
real life-something unattainable, untouchable, enchanted, a living silhouette
back-lit by the sun setting behind the abandoned house. She was always
comfortable in her skin but it seemed now she was growing beyond it, beyond
herself.
She extended her arms and began to spin in place like
a dancing vortex, her long nightgown furling about her body. Dust blew down the
shell road and the house was slowly sinking into the earth.
A truck rumbled in the distance, flushing a wake of vultures and further crowding the sky. This was the time
when all the birds began to move, looking for a place to roost.
"Won't they be cold at night?"
Everything pointing out of the earth became that color
people call gold, but isn't quite gold. It was getting cold now, the blue sky
becoming paler by the moment and then red at the western edges, as if
everything left behind had been set on fire. She walked into the woods.
He moved forward, closer to her. Her mouth was open
and lipstick-smeared-the sounds she made, half echoing for torture and half
echoing for praise, flittered through the canopy and vanished in the ether.
She playfully ran through the chill of the woods, hiding
behind trees and giggling in contentment-he snapped again and again, moved like
her, moved with her, moved with her grace-a dance of predatory-like
consumption. There was nothing behind the camera, save the impression of a
familiar face she had never known in material aspect. His features were
impressed on her mind, though he had no tangible quality. His "body" somehow
seemed always obscured in shadow. They had spent many overwhelmingly passionate
nights together and she knew him from all others, his touch from all others,
his disembodied prowess from all others. Flowing over the forest floor, her
sheer-white nightgown billowed and addressed every shadow and seemingly vacant
crevasse.
In her amorousness she felt as though she could melt
into the trees. She raised her arms above her head and moaned, moving her body
like she was riding one of the many beasts hiding in the dark. The heat inside
her dripped from her sex. The wetness needed to be answered. The world began to
spin; she saw brief moments in time.
Making love to her husband, the experience she remembered happening with her husband, though as it replayed
before her this time, as she experienced it again, her husband's face had been
replaced by that of the disembodied man. She could feel his closeness, even
now. Her skin was as a cloud, just before lighting forms.
She witnessed flashes, memories of things that never
happened but seemed so real. Visions. Cara's
heart began to race, she didn't understand what she was seeing, but it fomented
in her a primal desire, her body began to undulate, and just as she felt she
might surrender to this ethereal pleasure and plunge deep into the madness it
surely represented, the visions began to fade.
The shadow fingers curled up her legs and teased her.
She continued to run through the trees like returning to addiction-she could
not stop the feeling. Her fingers pulled at the passing wisps of tall grass and
feathery plants. She doubled over in pleasure and moaned again. He knew just
how to touch her. He knew what she needed.
Her prone body now pressed upon crackling leaves-his
hands brushed her face and the inside of her legs as she was laying in the
grass. As his finger glided over the inside of her thigh, she felt an exalting
shiver. Then she stood up, gave a look of impish reproach, and stepped back to
take off the sheer and flowing nightgown.
"I want you, I need you I..."
She often dreamed like this, of an entity she only
recognized by its face. It was the essence she felt. It was the idea of him
that she recognized and this idea was etched into her mind. He haunted her.
He would come for her in dreams and ravish her.
Bodiless and unforgiving, he was commanding, not violent, and she was his
willing and impassioned lust-subject. It wasn't about filling spaces, it was
about the pleasure of a filled space. It wasn't about sweat, power or a
beginning or an end-it was about her-she was the only woman in the world when
he was in her. She felt possessed.
Her eyes rolled back as she began to shake. The waves
came from both sides, an indelible feeling from the center of her skull
traversing down her body and meeting the pussy-tingle, growing into an orgasmic
pulse and a yearning gush. Her body went limp and drifted into a satisfied
torpor, a hazy drunk-like state. She felt warm, like she was vibrating.
Slowly, as the glowing feeling began to fade and the
haze lifted, she thought of her husband. A chill began to crawl over her skin
and a prickling heat climbed the back of her neck-regret or embarrassment. She
loved her husband. Why would she do this to him? What had he done to deserve
this? She felt the need to escape. She couldn't do this anymore.
"I don't believe in ghosts," she whispered to herself.
She tried to sit up and push her body from the ground
and felt a weight on her chest, holding her down. Now there were flowers all
about her and...insects. The insects buzzed around but did not touch her. It was
a swarm of such a number she could not see the sky, stars
or the treetops. It was like being at the center of a storm. The sound was
intense to a lulling point and a lulling end. Thunder.
Thunder.
Thunder, a crescendo until it seemed to be upon her.
The weight on her chest had relented and she was now
alone in the forest, lost in a dark and unfamiliar place. She was cold, naked and scared.
She began to call her husband's name. The trance
refused to lift. She called out again. The thunder stopped and offered
momentary reprieve. She called out again, her voice reaching the gravely
quality of a scream. Again she called, this time a full scream. She turned in
circles, darkness and trees in every direction.
Suddenly she heard her husband's voice, very far away. It was only manifest in
echoes through the trees. Was he looking for her? How could he be, and even if
he was, how could he ever hope to find her in this place?
A reverberant, panning laughter rang out.
"Does this flower open in the dark?" a voice seemed to
whisper in her ear.
A distant candle blinked through the forest. The
candle is still there, she thought, burning where she left it when her eyes
closed in her room that night. She ran through the darkness in the direction of
the flame. She ran, naked in the blackness-tear-blurred vision, frazzled mind,
bespelled heart. Twigs snapped under her feet and branches scraped her face and
tangled in her hair, she called out for her husband, she called out for anyone,
she screamed in enchanted hysteria. The bugs were crawling on her now, dropping
from the trees, flying by her ears.
She awoke to the gentle caress of her husband. He had
been trying to wake her from what he imagined was a nightmare. He brushed her
slightly damp hair from her face and kissed the corner of her eye. She could
hear the dull whirr of the air-conditioner and the room became familiar, it was
their house; the bed sheets she chose, her paintings on the wall. He had been
finishing some work on his computer when he heard her shouting unintelligible,
urgent, unfinished words.
"Are you okay?"
"You found me,"
"Bad dream?"
"I guess so, I'm not sure..."
"You okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine...yeah,"
"I love you, I'm going to work a bit more, then I'll
be in,"
"Okay, love you too."
He kissed her cheek, turned to walk away
and looked back, pausing for a moment.
"By the way, you really shouldn't leave candles
burning at night."
"Don't leave candles burning at night," she looked
absently at the candle to her left, staring into it, hypnotized by the motion
of it licking the dark away. "Right, okay,"
The candle was red and she let it burn the rest of the
night.
Two
Cara and Robert Keene lived in San Jose, California.
Robert was a software engineer at Star Microsystems Inc. and Cara worked as an
administrative assistant at a law firm, though her passion was painting. Most
nights found Robert up late working on his contribution to a programming
language that promised network interoperability, later known as Java script.
Cara would indulge him and listen to the technical jargon with a smile but her
mind often drifted away. She found him interesting and even admired the larger
goal of his work, but the details of it all put her to sleep. His vision of
future communication was inspiring and he worked hard. The 90's were booming in
the Silicon Valley and the money was good. They lived in a nice two-bedroom
house just outside the city.
Cara's paintings were inspired by her dreams. Most
found her work challenging and she had yet to gain traction with an audience,
though most agreed she was very talented and possessed a rare, if unrefined
gift. They just didn't get it, is the way she would put it. Robert was no
different. He supported her and admired her, but wasn't one for art, especially
when it defiantly tested the perception of the viewer. She had done a few
stints in galleries around town and even managed to sell a few paintings. Maybe
someone out there got it after all.
They woke up at the same time every weekday morning.
They would have coffee, sit for half an hour at the breakfast table while
reading and making idle comments, if only to acknowledge each other's presence.
Neither of them liked to eat much in the morning, they might split a
grapefruit.
It usually took Cara some time to clear her mind from
the night before. She had such vivid dreams. Robert understood this and did his
best not to occupy her thoughts with anything trivial, he just wanted to be
near her even if she was actually someplace else,
perhaps somewhere far away. Artists, he thought, what goes on in there? He
adored her mind. She was brilliant and someday the world would see. She seemed
particularly distant this morning but he attributed that to her piecing
together some abstract inspiration she would later draw from her reverie and
imbue into canvas. He gave her the obligatory space she needed, until she
seemed to have returned to earth and the land of the living, as it were.
"Can you move your face real close and tell me if I
have a republican penis?" He asked, stepping naked from the shower.
"I'm not falling for that again, you turkey!"
"When did you fall for that, are you that gullible?
Also...turkey? What's with that?"
"Oh, I thought we were doing a bit. Are we not?"
"We can do a bit, baby. A bit of this..." wrapping his
arms around her waist and pressing himself against her ass.
"Do I have a republican penis, baby? Are you avoiding
the question or what?"
"Wait, what's their thing again? The donkey or the
other one...the elephant?"
"Elephant,"
"You're asking me if you have an elephant dick? Do you
really want me to answer that?"
"I didn't mean it like that but now that you mention
it..."
"Really?"
"Well, if that's the trend of the conversation, what
about the donkey? Is that more accurate?"
"You're an ass all right," she laughed. "Sorry, that
was too easy."
"You know an elephant never forgets, right?"
"What?"
"And I'm very hurt right now, I'm going to, I don't
know...raise taxes on the poor or something, maybe jerk off."
"Sounds about right."