I walk into the Chez Paris, a
very fancy restaurant. The Hostess spots
me and escorts me over to a table, where sits, Mr. Brown.
I greet Mr. Brown and then I sit
down opposite him.
Mr. Brown says, "Jason, Perhaps you're wondering why I invited you to lunch."
I look at the man and tell him,
"It's just a wild guess, but it may have something to do with Wesley, Lana and
a business contract."
Mr. Brown appears to reset and
then he ventures, "Lana is a very pretty girl."
I reply, "Lana may be the
prettiest girl in town, top ten in any case.
When I walked into a place, with her on my arm, people would turn to
look at her, they sure as hell weren't looking at an average guy like me."
Mr. Brown then ventures, "You
were attracted to her."
I
sigh, "I fell for Lana like
a ton of bricks. I treated her like a
lady and she seemed to fall for me. What
she really fell for was my steady job, my professional pay check, my
comprehensive medical plan, things like that.
Also, a guy who only looks like me can't really make a play for every
hot looking babe who comes his way."
Mr. Brown then ventures, "Then
along comes Wesley."
I sigh and lecture, "Mr. Brown, I
am the best computer programmer that I have ever met. In my childlike innocence, I assumed that my
skill would mean that my employer would look out for me. As you have guessed, I'm not much of a
politician. I'm however, good at
analyzing systems. After a while, I
could tell that Lana wasn't really interested in me and I was in the process of
dumping her. I took her to a few
gatherings, in the area where I live. I
was getting no pussy from Lana and parting would be such a sweet relief,
especially if I could snag a new lady, who wanted to snag pretty Lana's date."
Mr. Brown then jumps in, "You
then found out that Lana was going to go to Wesley."
"I had heard that Wesley was going to take Lana
and then take my job."
Mr. Brown then pounces, "So, you
took revenge."
I sigh, "No, I took the Sunday
paper and searched the job listings, to find out who was looking for a real-time
computer programmer. In the process of
my job search, I also talked with several people. One of the people that I talked to was
another real-time programmer and he furnished me with a total failure real-time
control core program, to see if I could make sense of it. I could and was about to report my findings,
when Lana appeared at my door.
Apparently, Lana had learned that I had a mysterious computer program. Probably it was actually Wesley who had
learned of my program. In any case, I
had to use the bathroom and, when I got back Lana, and the computer program had
disappeared. I did report the theft,
just for insurance purposes. The police
may get back to me, some time this decade."
Mr. Brown then jumps in, "So, you
had some idea that your missing computer program might have wound up with
Wesley."
I lecture, "I had reported the
theft. Beyond that, it would have all
been conjecture."
Mr. Brown then says, "Apparently,
your missing program did indeed wind up with Wesley."
"I couldn't say.
I was then concentrating very hard on my job search. My skill level is well known, around town, so
I was getting interviews. However,
someone had apparently told people that I was some kind of whako,
who couldn't work with other people.
Actually, the someone was Wesley, but you know that, because of the
lawsuit that I filed against Wesley."
Mr. Brown sighs and says, "Yes, I
know about what Wesley did."
"During
my job search, I then was
interviewed by several non programmers,
to see if I was really a whako. I apparently passed review, but was still
shuttled from reviewer to reviewer. I
did get offers, low offers, because of my supposed whako
tendency. I then had an in depth review by a lady named Roxanne. Roxanne quickly determined that I was not a whako. Roxanne also
determined that I was, quote, 'A wolf dog, on the prowl,' unquote. Roxanne did agree to date me, 'Only to
protect the other ladies in town from the wolf dog.' I have no idea why ladies put things that
way."
A waiter then appears and Mr.
Brown orders us Crevettes au Boursin, and a fancy wine.
Mr. Brown then lectures me,
"Wesley can be very persuasive. He
convinced your Department Manager that he had people who could do the current
project task better than you could and that we could save the cost of your
salary."
I
sigh, "Of course, Wesley
would be the new Project Manager and he would show the company how to really
manage a project."
Mr. Brown winces, "Something like
that. His project was to then do a demo
for the customer."
I laugh, "Actually, I'm aware of
that last. The same customer has
approached my new company management, about also doing a demo, basically the
same demo."
Mr. Brown again winces, "Wesley's
demo was a disaster. He couldn't read
the remote data feed and he couldn't even process the simulated data feed."
I lecture, "The data, simulated
or real, comes in scaled, with different units.
The units have to be converted and the scalings
have to be adjusted, to be consistent.
It's not a simple task and the programmers who do the task have to be
both mathematicians and very familiar with computer scaling. The people that Wesley tried to use are
neither mathematicians nor very familiar with computer scaling. People who are mathematicians and very
familiar with computer scaling, cost a bit more. However, you only get what you pay for and
that only if you're lucky."
Mr. Brown asks, "Don't the manuals tell you how
to read data feeds?"
I sigh and ask the man, "Who writes the
manuals?"
Mr. Brown says, "I presume computer
programmers."
I lecture, "Computer programmers are
expensive. They can just use English
majors to write the documents. The
writing will be a good example of smooth, grammatically correct bullcrap."
Mr. Brown sighs, "So I observed."