Conversation With A CEO by R. Richard

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Conversation With A CEO

(R. Richard)


Excerpt

I walk into the Chez Paris, a very fancy restaurant. The Hostess spots me and escorts me over to a table, where sits, Mr. Brown.

I greet Mr. Brown and then I sit down opposite him.

Mr. Brown says, "Jason, Perhaps you're wondering why I invited you to lunch."

I look at the man and tell him, "It's just a wild guess, but it may have something to do with Wesley, Lana and a business contract."

Mr. Brown appears to reset and then he ventures, "Lana is a very pretty girl."

I reply, "Lana may be the prettiest girl in town, top ten in any case. When I walked into a place, with her on my arm, people would turn to look at her, they sure as hell weren't looking at an average guy like me."

Mr. Brown then ventures, "You were attracted to her."

I sigh, "I fell for Lana like a ton of bricks. I treated her like a lady and she seemed to fall for me. What she really fell for was my steady job, my professional pay check, my comprehensive medical plan, things like that. Also, a guy who only looks like me can't really make a play for every hot looking babe who comes his way."

Mr. Brown then ventures, "Then along comes Wesley."

I sigh and lecture, "Mr. Brown, I am the best computer programmer that I have ever met. In my childlike innocence, I assumed that my skill would mean that my employer would look out for me. As you have guessed, I'm not much of a politician. I'm however, good at analyzing systems. After a while, I could tell that Lana wasn't really interested in me and I was in the process of dumping her. I took her to a few gatherings, in the area where I live. I was getting no pussy from Lana and parting would be such a sweet relief, especially if I could snag a new lady, who wanted to snag pretty Lana's date."

Mr. Brown then jumps in, "You then found out that Lana was going to go to Wesley."

"I had heard that Wesley was going to take Lana and then take my job."

Mr. Brown then pounces, "So, you took revenge."

I sigh, "No, I took the Sunday paper and searched the job listings, to find out who was looking for a real-time computer programmer. In the process of my job search, I also talked with several people. One of the people that I talked to was another real-time programmer and he furnished me with a total failure real-time control core program, to see if I could make sense of it. I could and was about to report my findings, when Lana appeared at my door. Apparently, Lana had learned that I had a mysterious computer program. Probably it was actually Wesley who had learned of my program. In any case, I had to use the bathroom and, when I got back Lana, and the computer program had disappeared. I did report the theft, just for insurance purposes. The police may get back to me, some time this decade."

Mr. Brown then jumps in, "So, you had some idea that your missing computer program might have wound up with Wesley."

I lecture, "I had reported the theft. Beyond that, it would have all been conjecture."

Mr. Brown then says, "Apparently, your missing program did indeed wind up with Wesley."

"I couldn't say. I was then concentrating very hard on my job search. My skill level is well known, around town, so I was getting interviews. However, someone had apparently told people that I was some kind of whako, who couldn't work with other people. Actually, the someone was Wesley, but you know that, because of the lawsuit that I filed against Wesley."

Mr. Brown sighs and says, "Yes, I know about what Wesley did."

"During my job search, I then was interviewed by several non programmers, to see if I was really a whako. I apparently passed review, but was still shuttled from reviewer to reviewer. I did get offers, low offers, because of my supposed whako tendency. I then had an in depth review by a lady named Roxanne. Roxanne quickly determined that I was not a whako. Roxanne also determined that I was, quote, 'A wolf dog, on the prowl,' unquote. Roxanne did agree to date me, 'Only to protect the other ladies in town from the wolf dog.' I have no idea why ladies put things that way."

A waiter then appears and Mr. Brown orders us Crevettes au Boursin, and a fancy wine.

Mr. Brown then lectures me, "Wesley can be very persuasive. He convinced your Department Manager that he had people who could do the current project task better than you could and that we could save the cost of your salary."

I sigh, "Of course, Wesley would be the new Project Manager and he would show the company how to really manage a project."

Mr. Brown winces, "Something like that. His project was to then do a demo for the customer."

I laugh, "Actually, I'm aware of that last. The same customer has approached my new company management, about also doing a demo, basically the same demo."

Mr. Brown again winces, "Wesley's demo was a disaster. He couldn't read the remote data feed and he couldn't even process the simulated data feed."

I lecture, "The data, simulated or real, comes in scaled, with different units. The units have to be converted and the scalings have to be adjusted, to be consistent. It's not a simple task and the programmers who do the task have to be both mathematicians and very familiar with computer scaling. The people that Wesley tried to use are neither mathematicians nor very familiar with computer scaling. People who are mathematicians and very familiar with computer scaling, cost a bit more. However, you only get what you pay for and that only if you're lucky."

Mr. Brown asks, "Don't the manuals tell you how to read data feeds?"

I sigh and ask the man, "Who writes the manuals?"

Mr. Brown says, "I presume computer programmers."

I lecture, "Computer programmers are expensive. They can just use English majors to write the documents. The writing will be a good example of smooth, grammatically correct bullcrap."

Mr. Brown sighs, "So I observed."