EXTRACT FOR
Plow Me
(Malicia Paine)

I ring Boris's doorbell and then rap on the door for good measure. It's a little cold outside, and I realize not wearing a hat, or earmuffs, or pants, or really anything other than the translucent Christmas outfit was probably a mistake.



He's not coming to the door, I think to myself. Well, better give up!



I turn to go, but then I hear the door open.



I turn back to see Boris towering over me in the doorway. He's in loose-fitting pants and a T-shirt that's so tight I can see every single ripple of his powerful muscles through it.



I'd had something clever to say before he opened the door, but seeing him now, presented by this perfect specimen of manliness, I seem to have entirely forgotten how to speak.



He smiled broadly at me.



"Hello Miss Snow," he says in his thick Russian accent.



"Hi Boris," I say. "Um...you can call me Riley, you know...I'm..."



I'm pretty sure I'm younger than you. Though I realize I don't know his exact age, I'd place him in his late twenties, but I could be wrong.



He nods.



"What can I do for you?"



"Oh, well, I just...I wanted you to know I got the job today."



"You got...job today?"



"Oh..." I laughed. "Right. I didn't tell you. I had an interview, and...well....I got the job."



"Well, good for you, Miss...ehm...Riley Snow."



"Yes. Thank you. Anyway...I just wanted to thank you."



"Please. Come in. You look cold."



There's a reason for that, I think to myself.



I step inside and he closes the door. He's still towering over me and I feel this crazy sexual energy coming off him. Or maybe that's what I merely want to feel coming off him.



"Take off your coat," he says, not in a commanding way, but more an inviting one.



He doesn't yet realize I'm wearing nothing but a skimpy Christmas outfit underneath it.



There's no way I can take off my coat, I think. This is such a stupid idea...stupid, Riley, you're so stupid!



Boris takes the plate from me.



"This...for me?" he says.



"Yes. I wanted to thank you for helping me this morning. I mean...you really saved my ass out there."



"Your...ass?" he says.



Suddenly I'm not sure the expression translates so well into his Russian mind, so I wiggle my bottom at him with a dopey grin on my face.



What the hell am I doing? I realize a little too late.



But he just smiles, seeming amused.



"They smell very good. Thank you muchly," he says placing them on the table beside the door.



"Here, please, let me take your coat," he says.



Then Boris slips off the coat which I realize I'd only barely been holding closed, and I freeze??"not literally, because his house is pretty warm, and besides, he's got me all hot and bothered??"but I tense up and can't move as the coat comes off me.



Boris also freezes for a moment, stunned by the sight of me in this ridiculous ensemble.



"Miss Riley Snow... What is this you are wearing?"



"I'm...um..."



"I think you come with more for me than cookies, hmm?"



"Oh..." I say. I like the look of smugness on his face. He seems pleased by this. Or maybe he's just mildly amused. Maybe he's just being polite. God, this was so forward of me. This is so humiliating! What do I do?



"I...um...oh, this? I wear this when I bake."



"Oh. I see. Why is this?"



"It...um...it gets too hot in my home when I bake."



"This is normal for you then?"



"Yes," I stammer. "Yes, all women do it. All women cook in our underwear when no one's looking."



Oh my god Riley, what are you doing? He's never going to believe that. You are the worst liar in the history of??"



"Your underwear is...very...festive."



"Yes, these are my favorite because they're so...thin..."



I look down and realize this as I'm saying it. My nipple blades are showing right through the translucent bra piece. I might as well be naked.