My phone then rings, it's Gerry.

Gerry says, "Jim, someone has a video showing some nasty sex action involving people at the company. Jim, there are desperate people, prepared to do anything to get that video. Do you have the video, or do you know who does have the video?"

I sigh and lecture, "Gerry, the police have the video. The FBI has the video. The Commanding Officer at a local military base has the video. Several people around town have the video. If you intend to beat the video out of the police, the FBI, et al, please let me know before you try, I want to film a World War III video, for sale to Hollywood. When you're in jail, don't look for no cake with a hacksaw baked in it, from ol' Jim. If you send in a hard boy, to get the video, that's conspiracy and they don't put you in jail for that, instead, you go to prison. By the way, Nanci doesn't have the video. Also, by the way, your soon to be ex-wife and/or her lawyer undoubtedly have a copy of the video and the police are probably watching her."

Gerry snarls, "How do you know all of this?"

I sigh and lecture, "Gerry, there's a military base, where my former company once had a contract. Howard, Gerry and George wouldn't dirty their hands with the military people, especially not the enlisted military people. However, there was one company guy, I forget his name, who was out at the military base, busting his ass to get the military what they needed. It just might be that some low ranking military guy told the ass buster about a nasty video. Then the ass buster got swept up in a police and FBI investigation, for which the guy thanks you very much. Other than that, you can kiss his ass."

Gerry sighs, "Jim, you have to realize that a lot of careers are going to be permanently destroyed, if that video shows up at a trial."

"Gerry, I assume that the video, which I haven't seen, shows Howard, Gerry and George humping and bumping with some nasty whores. I can't tell you what a wife might do, in divorce court, but if I were the wife, I would at least try to get the house and the car from the unemployed bastard, who no longer has a paycheck coming in. If I were in your place, I would get my shit together, put it in the car, drive to a major oil company service station, fill the tank, fill the oil, have the tires and battery checked and then I would drive. Mexico or Canada are each particularly lovely at this time of year."

Gerry snarls, "Do you think that this is funny?"

"Gerry, thanks to your lack of effort, I'm now without a job and paycheck. However, it seems that you expect me to be worried that you might be without a job and paycheck. Gerry, I'm so busy worrying about my lack of a job and paycheck, that I don't have time for worrying about your lack of a job and paycheck. Please don't call again." I hang up on the bastard.